the student

do not know why things became like this. is it me? it doesn't matter anymore cos i'm always taken for granted. i'm always expected to do well for everything that i do. even when i'm not really very smart. i really think i do not fit into this family. they expect me to know what's going on because i share a room with him but the truth is just the opposite.

do u think i can read peoples' mind? no. i won't know if that person doesn't say a bloody shit to me. on the surface, we may be to be able to talk but we dun talk in depth. n recently, all because of some stupid phone calls, we quarelled. n the calls r like late in the middle of the night like 2am. it's like wtf.. i want to slp one loh.

it all boils down to i opening my mouth rite? maybe it's better not to open my mouth and all things will be good. as the saying goes, the more one talk, the more troubles may follow. maybe there's some truth in that in my case. who knows?

i'm the odd one out. the time will come when i can (n i will) shift out n then i can wash my hands off all the things that r bugging me. u may brand me as selfish but i think there's a limit to what i can n will do for u. it's not good to always wonder when the next crisis may arise. it may just give me hypertension or heart problem. my life is always full of such things so i sort of gotten used to it already. though the start may come a surprise but it's still not surprising when the hole is uncovered. depressing? yes but the heart is hardened. forgive n forget? maybe it would be better if i can lose my memory.

well, this is a very depressing post n i hope u dun feel depressed after reading to this point. hehe