u r always mugging!

u seemed upset at my impending trip
but i take it as nothing
cos i do not want to read too much into it

on the surface, i act as if there's nothing
but do u know that i remembered all that u said
maybe not all
but most of it
n it's still crystal clear
just can't seem to purge it out of my mind

nevertheless, i wish u happiness n success upon your graduation

it's over
the 70th anniversary celebrations
n many other non-related things

i realised only u can make her laugh
only u
so i decided to throw in the towel
n never shall think of it again

though for now i think i can't stop thinking
but i believe time will allow me to forget everything
n distance will play a part in helping
maybe a new environment, where i won't be reminded of thing here, can also help
hopefully after a good 6 months, daniel can get over it

n that's only a big IF
i wonder wat will happen if i can't
hahah

sometimes i'm afraid to go home
i'm afraid of all the possible things i may hear when i'm at home
n they are all things which i can't control
there's no way that these things going to have an end
maybe the only way out is for the person involved to die
maybe then, the troubles could be gone

once a family
now no more
the agony
the unhappiness that has enveloped the 'family'
the humiliation that had to be suffered

the real time experience
can't just be taught in any books that u can pick up from the bookstores
nor can it be imparted to just anyone
i suppose
u have to be in my shoes to know it

daniel is sick n tired of all these
cycles after cycles
month after month
drags on into years of troubles
like a war-torn country recovering from its post-war times

everyone is tired
yet it keeps on coming
but sooner or later,
no one will feel tired anymore
cos we will not be around anymore
n i look forward to that very day

Daniel is upset
trouble started to brew again
n yet daniel can't solve them
it's not as if by talking about it would be able to solve any problems
but i dun seem to have any other solutions to the many problems that never seem to go away
seriously, i'm quite afraid to be at home
cos i never know when the next 'thunderstorm' would come along

the saying 'never judge a book by its cover; never judge a person by his/her face',
there's so much hidden under a person's face
secrets, problems and untold truths
n problems all seem to arise because of all these

n people also say, 'money is the root of all evil'
n i recalled i prepared a GP topic on it,
it's never wrong
all evil stems from money
too little or too much of it causes problems
problems that may cause unrest to the person n those around him indirectly

sometimes i'm ashamed to tell people what is happening
partly it's because it's really embarassing
n there's really no solution to the problems
but the pressure is slowly rising
n i dun know how to handle it

maybe the best way out is i have an accident to my head n i lose all my memories
good n bad memories
maybe it's the best

slowly losing all hope